The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

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Harry Morton returns from his business trip a day early. George convinces him to don a beard, sport a French accent and romance Blanche, who plays along with the gag. Gracie catches them and concludes Blanche is having an affair. Gracie goes to a gym to find a big strong man to remove the bearded man from Blanches house. The strong man mistakenly throws Harry von Zell out of the house.


Ronnie tells George that he is quitting college to help him with the act so that George can retire. Gracie convinces Alfred to start wearing his glasses again. To keep Ronnie from being kicked out of school, Harry von Zell poses as a rich uncle willing to donate a large sum of money to the school.

George eventually gives the money to Ronnie, but von Zell doesn’t know it. Harry then tells Gracie how Ronnie needs the money and she decides to pawn her pearls and hide some fake ones. Ronnie shows George a pearl necklace that he bought for Gracie. George gets arrested when he tries to return the fake pearls. The whole gang celebrates Christmas with George in his cell.

Meanwhile, Roger is having two sisters he met, who happen to be dancers, come by. Jenny and Penny Miller audition for George and Harry Morton. Gracie and Blanche see this and misunderstand.

Harry von Zell tells George how sad he is because Gloria turned down his marriage proposal. Gracie tells Gloria how great marriage is and how wonderful von Zell is, but Gloria is still not interested. Then Gracie goes off and tells Bonnie Sue how bad marriage is.

John Hoyt appears as over-protective father William J. Brewster, whose daughter Mary is rehearsing a play with Ronnie. Harry von Zell fills in as a corpse for the rehearsal and scares Olga the maid. When Mr. Brewster arrives the two are rehearsing a love scene and he mistakes it for the real thing. Brewster drags Mary out of the room, saying he’s taking her back to Omaha. Harry von Zell tells Gracie and Blanche he has a scheme to teach Brewster a lesson and keep Mary in New York.


Peter Brocco appears throughout the New York episodes, as Peter the waiter, who is so amused by Gracie’s logic that he keeps jotting down notes on all her comments. In an attempt to get Roger out of their hair, Harry Morton has found a job for him in another state. Roger fakes amnesia – but he lets George in on the scam, knowing no one else would believe it is a ruse.

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George does a monologue about questions he gets about other celebrities. Gracie discovers that today’s date is circled on her calendar, but she doesn’t remember why. She tells George it’s Happy Hmm Hmm, but he doesn’t know what she means. Trying to find out what’s special about today, George speaks to Miller the Baker .

Judi Meredith, under the name Judi Boutin, makes her first appearance in the series as Velma Rogers. George wants Ronnie to follow in his footsteps and go into comedy. Velma performs a scene with Ronnie from William Inge play Picnic to convince everyone that Ronnie should be allowed to follow his dream of being a serious actor. (The film adaptation would be released just seven weeks later.) All of George’s friends agree that Ronnie should do dramatic acting. John Gallaudet appears as Sonny Werblin, George’s agent.

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Gracie wants to bring the “Widow Morton” along to the dinner. Raymond talks George into coming to be Blanche’s date. When Ronnie shows up pretending to be a waiter, the hoax is revealed. Mr. Curtis finds the whole thing quite amusing. Gracie and Blanche notice how gallant Ronnie is with his friend Ann.

The publicity department of the studio sends Ronnie on several dates with a new Italian actress named Maria Tornini . This causes problems with his real-life girlfriend Kathy Shaw as he has to keep breaking dates with her. Gracie asks Harry von Zell to go to the studio, pretend to be Maria’s father and tell them he doesn’t want her to go out with Ronnie. But von Zell doesn’t think he could pull it off.